Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
