I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
