Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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