Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You made out with two different species that night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
