we're chasing vodka with high fives
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
