i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
