I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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