Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
