When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
