Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
the raccoons are back...
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