I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I look better un-naked...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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