Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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