P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
