Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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