So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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