Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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