i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
vagina is talking i cant
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
