I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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