My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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