i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
