Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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