when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
