i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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