I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
