im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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