I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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