Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
