If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He better not be in your backpack
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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