I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize