Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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