Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize