guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
