Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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