I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
