i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize