My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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