Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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