You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize