Banned from zoo.
Again?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
