The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
