That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
