i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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