Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
