Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice