if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"