I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult