i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
