the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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