If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
