Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize