you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
