We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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