I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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