Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize