apparently the secret to your success is patron
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
