I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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