how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
