just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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