You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize