the condom got lost in my hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
